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Little would one wonder the cause when you hear some ladies lament over their encounter with men in their relationship.
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“I spent my life with him only for him to leave me”. “He dumped me after I gave him my body and monies. Men are wicked!”
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I often get surprised when some ladies conclude that all men are the same. Is that true?
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One thing that is traceable to be the problem is because of their ignorance about this: you don’t build your life around a man you’re not sure of.
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You must be sure you’re heading along the journey with the right man. And it’s not enough to say, “I feel or I think he’s the right one for me”. No, it doesn’t work that way.
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Going into a lifelong relationship with a man such as marriage isn’t a function of feelings but revelation, not to be based on emotional attraction but on conviction that comes from above.
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And before you build your life with him, which implies that you accept his proposal, here are some truths you have to know.
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1. A good man is hard to find
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Don’t believe you will have a perfect man as depicted in the movies. No, there are no perfect man since you too aren’t perfect.
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‘Good’ is relative. What is good for lady A is not the same for lady B. But the bottom line is that, don’t expect one perfect man you have imagined or seen in fictional movies to appear your way.
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Wake up and access reality! Man in his ability cannot know what is good for him unless he depends on the One who knows good things.
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2. Dating doesn’t help
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Do you think dating every Tom, Dick and Harry would make you find the right man? Never!
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Dating is just a sheer waste of your life – time, resources and focus. You’ll increase your worries if dating is what you adopt in determining his suitability for your life.
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It will expose you to the evils some men do or believe it’s love. And if you go from pillar to post on the premise of dating, you’ll have much to lose. Not even the so-called Christian dating as some people indoctrinate would help.
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3. Discover your suitability
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You can only be suitable to the right man when you know your purpose. Know yourself before you think of building your life with him.
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There’s no point ‘managing’ him if he doesn’t agrees with your values or purpose in life. But the mistake lots of ladies make is that, they’re either myopic to see who they are or feel he’s the kind of man they need.
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You can never be a suitable help meet if you don’t know your worth. You don’t need a man to complement you, you are to complement him.
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The fact that Eve was Adam’s suitable help meet doesn’t mean Eve needed Adam so bad. Discover yourself so that God can place you in the hand of the man with whom you can be his suitable help meet.
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4. Make yourself a right partner
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One thing most ladies don’t know is that you can’t get Mr. Right if you’re not a Miss Right. And if maybe by chance you are fortunate to have one, you’ll mess up the marriage.
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How can you be suitable for him if you don’t live by purpose when he has one coupled with the fact that you failed to work on yourself?
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While waiting to be married, work on your emotional, spiritual, mental, financial and physical life.
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Conserve your energies and resources to bettering your life. Don’t waste your time of singleness on ephemeral things that doesn’t last. Invest in what would improve your life and not on relationships you’re ‘sampling’.
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Remember, marriage won’t make you a good wife. You’ll make yourself a wife material before marriage. Take time to build yourself so that you can trust God to do His part. And this is if you want His perfect will.
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5. Be intimate with God
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Being intimate with God is becoming archaic to the society we live in. Many do not see the need for God since they’re educated, exposed and experienced. “Why do I need God when He has given me a brain”, they often express.
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It sounds logical but the truth is that you don’t know what is good for you in life if you don’t depend on God.
It’ll look good to you but that’s not His best. Instead of building your life with him, get intimate with God so that you can know the man you should build your life with.
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Being intimate is not a function of going to church or attending weekly service, it’s a consistent and personal walk with God.
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You can’t know God if you haven’t genuinely accept His gift of eternal life – salvation.
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Mind you, it’s your relationship with God that would prevent you from building your life with the wrong man.
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