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Everyone is in one form of relationship or the other. Some are either single, engaged to be married or married. Amongst those who are single, you’ll also find those who are single but not searching, single but searching and those who are single but desperately searching.
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Here’s another category of people you wouldn’t but find in a relationship. It’s not so uncommon to have them in a relationship especially those who are really due for marriage.
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Being single but desperate is applicable to both genders because it is what they do that determines their desperation.
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When a person becomes due or overdue for marriage or to be engaged, they sometimes become desperate, either consciously or unconsciously. You’ll tend to find them both in the secular world and amongst religious folks.
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How will you identify them?
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1. As females, they make the move
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When some ladies are gone past the age of twenty-eight or they’re in their mid-thirties, being desperate in looking for Mr. Right becomes their way of life.
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They’ll do much of the calling, messaging so as to keep the relationship aglow. Instead of allowing the man to be the man, they’ll choose to assume his position.
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As Christians, barely after few weeks of meeting a man, they push up the marriage talk or gist. Some would even ask the man if he has been praying over the relationship or what has the Lord revealed to him.
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In the secular world, these kind of ladies make the toasting proposal because the man is ‘shy’ or becoming too insensitive to their needs. It is even believed that a lady can woo a man. Is that true?
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Being desperate doesn’t help and when your feelings begins to determine the order of your life, you can’t escape the consequences of such action in the future.
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I know it could seem disheartening or frustrating to be in such state but desperation doesn’t help or solve anything on that note.
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Don’t push yourself into having a relationship with a man, if your ‘moves’ necessitates his proposal, you’re going to marry outside God’s will and such cannot end on a good note.
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And if he accepts your proposal based on your desperation, you’ll do everything to keep him when you’re married and the relationship becomes faulty from his end. Don’t be desperate to say ‘I Do‘.
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2. As males, they ‘rush’ the proposal
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How in God’s name will you propose to a lady on the ecstasy of the moment? That it seem you two get along easily doesn’t mean that you’re going to be compatible in marriage.
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In the secular world, these men would rush a woman to accept their proposal. They’ll even monitor her so that she becomes theirs.
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As if they care, they’ll call more often, shower her with gifts and pretend to do as if she meant so much to them just to make sure that she grants their wish. Ladies, be careful of desperate men and the men too shouldn’t be desperate to make proposals…see the signals.
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Amongst religious folks, they’ll hasten her to tell her spiritual head or even parents about the relationship so they can get a yes from her.
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Without giving her enough time to think through her decision, they want a quick yes and a “no” is a blow on their face and ego. They might even threaten her life or fake death if she doesn’t accept their proposal.
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Being desperate to be married or engaged is not the right way to a successful marital life. I know desperation would come when you’re running out of the marriageable age but it’s still not the best approach into becoming married.
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Take your time to think, pray and consider the decision before you make or accept a proposal. If you’re running out of age, acting under pressure isn’t the best bet.
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Be patient. Pray to God and trust His timing if you depend on Him. And if you’d do it your way, do your calculations properly because divorce isn’t an end to an existing marriage, it’s only a separation created by man.
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Are you single and waiting to be engaged? Don’t be desperate but channel your energies into doing the right thing that would help your marriage in latter years and not land you in the state of regret.
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Even in this yuletide season, don’t allow desperation push you into the wrong hands because men will be looking for naive ladies and ladies too will be looking for timely proposal. Nothing done in desperation ends well.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2015
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